Eight Ways to Help Improve Self-Worth – From a Diagnosed Neurodivergent with PTSD

September 23, 2024

Eight Ways to Help Improve Self-Worth – From a Diagnosed Neurodivergent with PTSD

Self-worth is one’s assessment of themselves as a valuable and capable human being deserving of respect and consideration, as defined by the American Psychological Association (APA). [1] I have spent most of my life trying to access my self-worth, and as a person diagnosed with a neurodevelopmental disorder (ADHD) and a mental health disorder (chronic PTSD), this journey has been regularly debilitating.

Beginning with self-compassion and love, I was able to find various ways to improve my self-worth. I hope they can inspire you too. Recommendations are welcome; please comment below.

Disclaimer: I’m not an expert in this field; this is my personal account of what works best for me.

1. Self-Compassion & Love

Speaking to yourself with compassion and love is a great way to set a solid foundation for improving self-worth. For me, the day I decided to talk to myself with kindness is the day that my self-worth stopped deteriorating. Some research has shown that self-compassion increases one’s self-worth and can help ease symptoms of ADHD and PTSD. [2] [3]

Check out these links for more information:

Loving Yourself and Others: The Impact of Compassion on Mental Health and Wellness from VCU Health
Self-Love: Why It’s Important and What You Can Do To Love Yourself from Cleveland Clinic
The Scientific Benefits of Self-Compassion from Stanford Medicine

For some of us, this is no easy feat. I recommend keeping at it, especially on days when you feel undeserving. Sometimes I use most of my energy to find one nice thing to say to myself; over time, showing myself that I am worth the expended energy helps and feels incredible.

With continued practice, treating yourself with love and compassion will come more naturally. However, it is important to acknowledge that relapsing into old, harmful self-talk habits can happen. I combat this by reframing what I initially view as a failure on my part into accepting it as part of a normal process.

2. Reframing Failure

It is common to view failure as a negative impact while struggling with low self-worth. I struggle with self-internalization; when something goes wrong, I place the blame on myself. Failing and being failed by others are parts of life; accepting and adapting to this cruel and unforgiving world is crucial.

Studies show that failure promotes the development of new coping skills and exposes us to alternative methods of managing unwelcome outcomes. [7] [8]

The reality is that everything has the capacity to fail, and that’s okay. How we proceed is what matters. Since reframing failure, my ability to assess and adapt to unpleasant situations has improved, my brain feels less foggy, and I have more time to focus on and discover things that make me happy.

3. Make a List

Making a list of needs, goals, pros & cons, favorites, etc., is a great way to establish direction on your journey to increasing self-worth. Research shows that making lists can help with decision-making, thought organization, and encourage stress reduction. [9] [10]

When we list and achieve goals, it makes us feel good. When we externalize our thoughts, it can help us define what we want out of life and what we don’t want. Making lists can help us regulate expectations.

Ask yourself what you do and don’t want from your relationships, your work, and yourself – make a list. Someone shared this advice with me, and it has contributed to uncovering my authentic self and improving my self-worth.

4. Music

Listening to and/or playing music is a great way to feel connected to the world and oneself. Scientific studies claim that music activates most of the brain and contributes to the well-being of the listener. [11]

Music has the ability to make us feel less alone. Music can turn pain into an expression of healing, it can inspire and motivate, and it can provide comfort. [12]

I feel passionately about healing and growing through music. I emphatically encourage learning an instrument or finding ways to engage with the rhythm of your favorite songs—I do this by lightly tapping my chest to the beat or by dancing. Both playing and listening to music helps me regulate and feel connected to the world and myself.

5. Physical Activity

Engaging in physical activity is universally beneficial for all people. One such study of college students in South Korea verified that general self-concept, self-esteem, and mental well-being increase over time after consistent physical activity. [13]

It is difficult to exercise when you are short on energy. For me, I need creative ways to exercise; otherwise, it won’t happen. I like to make a list of activities that seem interesting, then choose one that won’t encourage me to punish my body.

For instance, I had never been able to hula hoop, but I always wanted to learn. For a month, I practiced until I could hoop in both counterclockwise and clockwise directions. I was able to improve my sense of self-worth by learning something new and engaging in necessary physical activity.

6. Free Writing

The idea of free writing is to release built-up frustrations and unprocessed thoughts onto paper. I personally love this because it helps me visualize an issue, process it, and then make a decision on how to proceed. I feel good about myself when I have clarity.

Free writing allows a person to reorganize chaos in the mind and reduce energy used toward stress and anxiety. [14] [15]

Other times, free writing feels like taking out the garbage on trash day. There are some things that should not be kept inside. My self-worth improved when I was able to release the pain and confusion through this method.

Read these articles for further information on this:

Writing Can Help Us Heal from Trauma from Harvard Business Review
How a Brain Dump Can Help You Relieve Stress from Very Well Mind

7. Learn a New Skill

Learning new skills is a fantastic way to improve self-worth. Creating a list of potential skills you are interested in is a great place to start. I taught myself how to crochet and braid my own hair through various DIY tutorials online during a particularly low point in my life. Once I began creating things, I felt a sense of accomplishment; I felt proud. Since then, I continue learning various skills, and it improves my self-worth.

Research suggests that learning a new skill rewires and creates new brain cells, releases dopamine, reduces stress, and promotes an overall positive well-being. [16] This has been true for me.

8. Practice a Foreign Language

Practicing a foreign language has various benefits, such as improved cognition and reduced symptoms of depression. [17] Language connects us to others and exposes us to the world, increases confidence, and boosts self-esteem. [18]

Learning a foreign language is accessible to anyone with an internet connection. There are multiple free resources and apps online that teach foreign languages. I use the free features on apps like Duolingo and Memrise for lessons; and Tandem and HelloTalk to practice communicating. This has been such a rewarding experience, and it is hard not to feel good about yourself when you read your first book or understand a song in a foreign language.

Final Thought

Life is cruel, and we deserve better. Fortunately, there are ways to help us feel worthy of ourselves and coexist in this world. I hope that everyone can, at the very least, practice self-compassion and love; the rest will follow. You deserve to have one person in your corner, even if that one person is just you.